roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Did nims chinnie? Fins.

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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There's two Cherys in a bath one chery asks the other one to pass the soap the other chery said what do I look like, a typewriter?

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops