Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops