A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blind man walks into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

thumb_up thumb_down

You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

thumb_up thumb_down

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

thumb_up thumb_down

What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

thumb_up thumb_down

What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

thumb_up thumb_down

q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

thumb_up thumb_down

What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

thumb_up thumb_down

This dog can only sniff marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down

A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

thumb_up thumb_down

whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

thumb_up thumb_down

www.xnxx.com

thumb_up thumb_down

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did your mum die young because she had canser

thumb_up thumb_down

boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops