Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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soccer

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Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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