Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you spell eight? 8

thumb_up thumb_down +2

4 Jews are killed during a car accident, the whole city mourns over there death and create a plaque in their honor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops