How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

thumb_up thumb_down

What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

thumb_up thumb_down

What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

thumb_up thumb_down

What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

thumb_up thumb_down

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

thumb_up thumb_down

How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

thumb_up thumb_down

What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

thumb_up thumb_down

The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

thumb_up thumb_down

Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops