Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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