Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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What are blacks scared of? The kkk

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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