roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

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J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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