A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Buzi vagy!

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops