whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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