What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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angelosnyder is not gay

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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