what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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