A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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