What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops