guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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25

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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