A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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Caca.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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