Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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