a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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