A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Replacement Referees

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops