Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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What's bad about the the 3 black Jews that just died...... They were my friends

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops