Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

Whats the defination of cruelty

How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

Cancer.

justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

What is full of water and drowning people A pool

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...