Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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YOU

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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Nuneaton..

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops