Ian's mind Elevator music

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Tilt your screen back

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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have safe sex

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What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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Set up Punch line.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops