A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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Gay republicans

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops