What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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Why did the boys shout ZACHATTACK? Because zach was attacking

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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Nickelback

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops