you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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Women's Rights

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops