What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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You all have Aids

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Caroline Kelly.

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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