What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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