Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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YOU

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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I am very humble.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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