Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops