Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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WHAT????

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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You

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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