Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

tom pauling

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops