Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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