What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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feminine literature

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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