- Anti Joke

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

Send "What Makes You Beautiful" Ringtone to your CellShowHideSong Notes - Go behind the words! You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or Don't need make-up - to cover up Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed the way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! If only you saw what I could see you'd understand why I want you so desperatley Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! Read more: ONE DIRECTION - WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-makes-you-beautiful-lyrics-one-direction.html#ixzz1sJdk3KHD Copied from MetroLyrics.com

A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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