Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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Invisible Children Foundation.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops