How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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Dogs

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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