If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

What's worse than the holocost? 6 Million Jews

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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