Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your mom was so fat that she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops