I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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