If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

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The WNBA

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Liverpool City Football Club

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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Hobos are like Obama they want change.

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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