why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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