a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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