Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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