what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Banana Hamock.

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What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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