Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down +5

flavin's head

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Rick Santorum 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops