What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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why girl die cancer

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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tom pauling

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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no

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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How do you end a sentence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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