What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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Do u take sugar?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Why? Why not?

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops