What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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PEANIS!

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops