What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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What do I hate? people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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