How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A boy with red hair is happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Compton

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops