Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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