Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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YOLO

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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what's white and sticky semen

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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How do chinese families name their children I belive it would be child because chinese families are only allowed 1 child

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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c:

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That is so fetch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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