Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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this site is an antijoke

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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